Something that Pools
by mika zero-zero twenty-one
Summary: Crack, OOC, Sues, perfection, and crack liek woa. I'm warning you there's a Mary Sue! She has beautiful gun wounds! No, not normal BEAUTIFUL. Happy birthday, Crystal Remnant! 8D


For Crystal Remnant's 16th birthday! OOC like whoa and crazy crap happening at every turn. This is meant to be stupid and angsty, so…yes. I don't own Cyborg 009 or Burger King quite yet. Not that I **want **to own a greasy fast food restaurant, though…

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Something that Pools

a crazy, crazy, one-shot

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"That's IT! GET OUT!" Albert screamed, throwing the blonde out of the apartment he and Jet shared. She stepped out the door, but in seconds, was a chibi with huge, glittering, perfectly ocean-blue eyes. She looked SO miserable, HOW could he throw her out? Gorgeous silver tears dripped down her creamy cheeks with their stunning rose blush, though did not ruin her flawless makeup.

Sighing, Albert pulled the glove off his right hand and aimed said hand at her. "Mary Sue, I told you last week that you had to leave, but that time, Jet was here to defend you. This time, though…"

And **BANG**! The golden-blond hair was stained with beautiful red blood, and the perfect blue eyes became even more perfect in death. Albert smirked, grabbed his keys, and closed the door behind him. It was time to go find Jet and show him the oh-so-very-perfect body of his most recent whore.

He lifted her very light, though not anorexic in the least, body up and rode down to the garage in the elevator. He shoved her body into the back seat, being careful not to stain the all-leather interior, then got into the front seat. He started up the car, pulled out of the parking spot, and drove up and out and into the day. In seconds, he was off to find Jet at the closest fast food place.

Just as he thought, Jet was sitting out in the front of Burger King, as if waiting for Albert to arrive. He waved lazily, recognizing the car. Albert turned into the parking lot, pulled the keys from the ignition, and got out. Jet motioned for him to sit down.

"Heinrich, I bought too much food again." He said through a Whopper. Albert, though, pulled Mary Sue's body out of the back seat. Jet dropped his Whopper mid-bite. His mouth hung open.

"HOW **COULD** YOU! You…you…I don't know how to say it! Get in the car, bitch! We're gonna go…do stuff!" Jet roared, beyond anger. How could Heinrich do something like that to such a perfect being? How could it happen to HIM? How the hell _did _Heinrich find out about Mary Sue in the first place?

So, without another word, Albert got back into the car and Jet ran around into the passenger seat, leaving all the fries and onion rings and burgers out for the birds to devour. Jet, who was absolutely BEYOND grief, turned his head to dramatically cry and carry on the entire way to wherever they were going. His misery pooled around him like…like…something that pools.

"How did you kill her?" Jet asked, in the most miserable voice. Albert shrugged and pointed to the bullet holes in her chest and head, and the blood seeping from them to stain her color-coordinated outfit of a halter top and microminiskirt. "That would do it, wouldn't it?"

"It would. If it makes you feel any better, I'll buy you dinner tonight." Albert said. Jet let out a particularly loud sob and pulled his spare gun out from under the seat, rolled down the window, and stuck the gun out.

"IF I CAN'T HAVE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, NO ONE CAN!" He cried, pulling the trigger and shooting. Several girls with tiny forms, though NOT anorexic, dropped dead from the bullets flying from the car. Once he ran out of bullets, he paused to reload and shot every hot chick he saw.

At one point, as he was restocking, a certain blonde blinked in surprise. SHE wasn't **nearly** beautiful enough for what Jet wanted. She turned to the oh-so-cute brunette bishie beside her and looked into his ruby eye.

"Was that Albert and Jet that just drove by, with Jet hanging out the window shooting a gun and screaming 'DIE, BEAUTY, DIE!'?" Francoise asked Joe. He turned his head to see the most recent wave of bullets hit all the gorgeous women in the area and the car spewing bullets.

"I don't think so. Come on, I want to go see all the dead girls." Joe replied, tugging her shirt sleeve. The French woman sighed.

"Yes, Joe, come on." Francoise lead him off to the nearest corpse.

There came a time that Jet had finally run out of bullets, and sat in the all-leather seat looking oh-so-miserable. Albert looked at him, looked at Mary Sue, and rolled his eyes. He parked the car and looked into the back seat. He was wondering if Jet would ever recover. Not really, though.

But then…

"LIKE, OH MY GOD! I KILLED HILDA'S REINCARNATION!" Albert wailed in a fantastically out-of-character voice. He dramatically covered his eyes with his left arm and randomly shot with his right. Jet blinked.

As Albert proceeded to shoot everything female from birds to trees, Jet looked at the body of Hilda-Mary Sue. Then it hit him.

"Hey Heinrich, wasn't Hilda shorter? She had brown hair, right?" Jet noted, pointing to the wickedly beautiful corpse in the back seat. Albert uncovered his eyes, looked at said perfect corpse, and smacked himself on the forehead.

"That's right! It _must _be Francoise that we killed! Thank God, she's such a whiny bitch! I can't stand her!" Albert said, prancing around the car. Little musical notes followed him around.

"Care to repeat that?" Aforementioned French woman said, pointing a gun at Albert. He covered his mouth in sheer shock that he _hadn't _killed Francoise. "Well?"

"**HEINRICH!**" Jet's voice bellowed. Albert shot bolt upright to hit Jet's nose.

"What? What do you want?" Albert asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You were screaming something about Francoise being dead. Were you asleep or something?" Jet asked. Albert shook his head at Jet's obliviousness and to rid himself of sleep.

"No, Jet, I was just composing my new novel orally…"

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Wheeeeeee! Only a month late, but hope you all enjoyed it! Review or flame!

Thirty-three hearts!


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